A while back I had read a sports psychology book, I blogged about it even, and one of the things that really stuck out was that I need to work on resilience. Well this was a few years ago and now I'm realizing I not only need to work on resilience in sports but in all aspects of my life. I feel I need to be able to bounce back quicker not let something minor get me down or deter me for too long. I announced this as if it were some great moment "I'm ready to work on my resilience!" It wasn't met with the response I expected. I thought ok I'll be given some mental exercises to get me through those moments and as long as I stick to it viola I'll be more resilience. Instead I was asked, "Would people say that you are a perfectionist?" I replied No I don't have patience for the details, if I had a project to work on I'd get the work done then call someone else in to make it look perfect or pretty. I was then informed that's not the only form of perfectionism. After a lot of back and forth I was told to consider that maybe I was a perfectionist and that is actually why I'm not as resilient as I'd like to be. WHHHATTT??? Ok so what does that mean? If I have really high expectations of myself therefore being a perfectionist I might tend to have "all or nothing" thinking. So if I can't have it all I might as well give up therefore I'm not as resilient because I may think it's not worth the effort if I can't get it perfect.
For example, "I read all the time about these awesome mom's that just had a baby, work full time, have an amazing supportive partner, are back to competing at triathlons." So obviously if I can't have it all like they do I must be doing something wrong. If they still find time and energy for enough training to be competitive athletes why can't I do it at the age group level? So I give up and sit out a whole season of triathlons. I know everyones situation is different. I know we all have our own battles to fight but I only tend to compare myself to an unattainable picture perfect ideal.
So what did I learn? I need to strive for EXCELLENCE and resilience will follow. I need to recognize when I'm thinking in terms of perfection and not excellence because no one is perfect and to strive for perfection will lead to failure and I will lose my resilience. But if I strive for excellence I will realize that if there are failures that is ok because that's how we keep learning and striving for excellence.
I may have just babbled on way too long about something that only makes sense to me but it helps me to write things down to process them.
On another note look at what my dog did to me by head butting my knee! This picture was taken almost a week after she ran head first into me! I was on the floor almost crying it hurt me so bad but I got up quickly and smiled because that was the first time I saw a worried look on my little boys' face and I didn't want to worry him. But my dog was NOT fazed! She just kept right on running as if she didn't even hit her head.
I signed up for the 10k! It's just a few weeks away. It's been so long since I've ran that distance I don't even know what my goal should be. I think I'll go with hopefully finish in 1 hour.
And just in case you want a good laugh watching a cute kid dancing to some rap music: