Sometimes you're tested when you least expect it...

I knew I was going through a rough time it's no surprise that I have been sleep deprived and undernourished due to stress the last few weeks.  But I was just maintaining and keeping an eye out for the light at the end of the tunnel.  But I thought I had a lot more drudgery ahead and was just trying to keep my head down and survive.  But last week was a dozy!  Thursday night it all blew up and I got maybe 2-3 hours of sleep and lot of stuff changed very quickly.  Last minute I had to decide if I would bail on my half marathon on Saturday.  When I mentioned this to my parents my mom said it wasn't even an option.  She said not only will I not bail on my half marathon but I will not pull out of my half iron distance in May!  She just said no, exercise is what you need, and you won't give up!  So last minute they took care of my son during my half on Saturday.  I know you guys probably get tired of hearing me say how awesome my parents are but SERIOUSLY!!!!!!  Without them I wouldn't be half the person I am today!!  SERIOUSLY!  They have gotten me through so much and know me so well that they put themselves through tough times just to make sure I get it done!  I already ask so much of them in taking care of my little guy during the week and now they are taking on some night and weekend duties so that I can finish the last 4 weeks of my triathlon training instead of pulling out!

So Friday night was the first night in probably 3-4 weeks I got a full night of very restful and recovery sleep!  I slept for about 9 1/2 hours and that's even with having to get up twice in the night to tuck my son back in.  I woke up feeling rested, optimistic and ready to go.  My son was excited to see his grandparents which meant we got out the door early and it was a good thing because I showed up to the race finish instead of the race start!! I didn't realize in the emails it said it was a point to point and I put the wrong address in my phone.  My phone was about to die so it took me a while to find the new place but I finally made it, a little stressed and a little less ready to tackle this.   I was freezing and it was cloudy and rainy, a nice soul gave me their silver race blanket and said to use it and just toss it at race start.  So nice!!  Then I saw a fellow ABQ Sole Sister and introduced myself.  She said she wanted to hold 9:30 miles and I thought there was no way I could maintain that with still recovering from sleep deprivation and having lost 5 lbs in two weeks.  But we started chatting as we went off then another girl joined us that was doing 50 states and was in from CA.  They pulled me at a 9:30 pace for 10 miles!!  The last 3 I kept slowing down a bit but then talking myself into speeding back up as I realized I was pretty darn close to a PR.  I refused to give up even though my hands were so red and cold I couldn't feel them and the cold drizzle kept pelting me on my face was frankly getting quite annoying.  But I pushed through to what I think is a PR at 2:05:50.  I say I "think" because my watch said 13.03 instead of 13.1 but I'll take it.  My hips were paying for it and I slept with my compression socks on but I was so happy for the kindness of strangers and family and a race that made me realize I had arrived at that light at the end of the tunnel without even realizing it in the middle of a storm, literally and figuratively.

One thing that amazes me about my son is that he already understands certain things about his mom.  He knows I don't like to leave him and spend all day at work but he tells me it's ok mom.  He's sad for me but is happy as soon as I say I'll see him as soon as I'm done working.  But when I have to leave for a run or bike ride on the weekends he doesn't even get sad.  I say I have to go for a run and he happily chirps Ok mom see you soon, run fast!

Sunday it was another cold and rainy day and there was snow in the mountains that I was supposed to be biking towards.  Luckily my tri coach who is the most amazing awesome coach and she doesn't know it but I call her my friend when she's not around :-)  could sense that I was needing some help by my posts on daily mile and insisted on riding this with me.  She showed up and picked a different route and pushed me to test my legs on a day they were shot.  And when I totally bonked around mile 40 and could barely keep myself moving up the hill she was so patient and cheerful that I couldn't find it in me to complain.  I feel so lucky to know someone like this.  By the way she was getting in about 80-90 miles that day after a 14 mile run that morning!!  She inspires me to push through the pain!

After a hard, exhausting, rewarding weekend with lots of support I am sleeping better again, 3 nights of about 9 hours of sleep in a row now and I'm eating again like I need to so that I'm fueled right for my training!  Sorry for the super long post and this isn't even half of what I'm feeling but all I can say is Thank you to anyone who has ever supported me with kind words or a smile it really does mean a lot!  My son and I had a dance party when I got home from my ride and even though every jump was painful the laugh and smile on his face as we spun, threw his stuffed animals at each other and jumped up and down made it all worth it!

My reminders every morning to keep going!

My son asking me to take a picture of him with his "goggly eyes" aka minion goggles

I cried, I laughed, I cheered (Lobo Tri Race Report)

First let me start off by talking about the actual race before I start sounding all narcissistic and only talk about myself! :-)   I did this race last year and again this year and have loved it!  I like the fact that I can get it paid for through my work, it's the only one that they do this for as far as I know.  I like that it is a spectator friendly course.  I liked their tech shirts and their trophies for the AG winners, so did my son he already claimed Lobo Louie for his room!  The run is fast 2 loop course around campus, the bike is an out and back to the first snake hill with a few tough hills but it's a sprint so you know you'll survive even if you feel like you might puke on one of the uphills, the swim is last and in the pool reverse tri style.  There were lots of friendly volunteers and the cops did an awesome job of taking care of traffic, I thought I was going to have to stop or at least slow down at one of the lights but nope they had it covered.  It was well organized and I got to print my results right after the race which is always a nice touch.  For anyone reading this from out of state where the races are bigger and this is common place, in these parts these are all niceties we don't always get.  There were lots of great racers out there and I was happy to be back with my extended family! :-)

Now as far as my race day went it was hard and I was a mess!  But I survived.  I placed 3rd in my AG but I couldn't really enjoy that.  Here's why, last year I had almost the exact same finish time.  Last year I was under trained and unprepared.  This year I have been training for a while because I'm about 5 weeks out from my 70.3 So I expected a lot more from myself.  But it didn't happen.  I felt like I was really pushing myself and my body was exhausted but the times weren't showing what I was feeling.  I was sluggish both my legs and upper body were just thrashed.  When I got in the pool I wasn't sure if I was moving forward of my own volition or if I was just floating and the current from all the other swimmers just happened to be pushing me along!!!  Yes, that's how fatigued I was! The day started with me waking up on time feeling what I thought was refreshed I was convinced that the last 2 good nights sleep (one of those nights sleep was with a little help to make sure I would sleep) would be enough for the previous 2 weeks of insomnia and stress induced stomach upsets.  I stopped by my work to pick up my running shoes I forgot then set up in transition where all of a sudden I started feeling nervous.  The thing is I've been doing tris for most of my life and I hardly ever got nervous anymore.  I was not remembering the simplest rules of triathlon.  I tried to shake it off, went inside to the pool to warm up.  Then listened to the pre race meeting started feeling better.  Then I took off on my 1 mile warm up run and started crying! Yes you read that right.  It's like all my emotions from the last 2 months just decided to pop up and say Hello! are you finally ready to deal with us?!!  But I quickly got myself together and went to the start.  My parent showed up with my son and I hugged and hi-fived him for good luck.  He looked quite confused as to why mom had a number written on her arm and leg and why she was lining up with a bunch of other people that had the same.  I felt strong on my run but thought I was running it faster than I actually was.  On the bike my upper body and legs were already fatigued! But I pushed through this is the only leg of the tri I actually did a little faster than last year thanks to my new speedy bike and maybe some extra training.  The second I got in the pool and tried to move I thought OH CRAP my legs and arms are dead!  I didn't think it was possible to cry in water but I did.  I wasn't sure if it was tears or water filling up my goggles.  I finished, hid for a minute in the bathroom then went to find my family.  I was surprised to see I finished 3rd in my AG when this same performance got me 7th last year with such a poor showing of my abilities but happy and I'll take what I can get. 

So I learned a few things about myself.  I picture myself as being much stronger than I sometimes am.  I think this comes from me telling myself I will always show my son that his mom is strong and tough and show him that women and men can both do anything they set their minds to.  But when I was out on the course I realized the toll the stress from my personal life had taken on my body.  What I do know is that this has renewed my energy for training and I am more determined now than ever to do my best!  I love the triathlon lifestyle and the people that I get to spend time with in this grueling and fun sport.  Because of this I believe that I am a stronger person both for myself and my son.  I love my parents and the fact that they help me out so much.   Without them I would never had been introduced to the sport, encouraged to participate, and now they ensure my son sees me doing what I love. 


It is always nice to see friendly faces that I have met along the way and they cheer for you and never judge even if you are a mess out on the course!











HAPPY TRAINING!!!!

No pressure

This is my self proclaimed comeback season... no pressure

I buy myself a super fast bike that cost me a pretty penny but I need to build my strength up to be able to keep up with it......  no pressure

I am working with a coach who is amazing and changed my entire way of training....  no pressure

My dad buys me race wheels and tells me my current age group is when women in this sport are at their peak performance..... no pressure

My husband doesn't get why I keep doing these since I've already proven it to myself that I can do all the distances.....  no pressure

I spend time away from my son in an already busy schedule to train and have my parents bring him to my races so he can see how strong his mom is..... no pressure


NO PRESSURE....... 

Yet I lie awake at night with my first sprint tri of the season in one week sweating bullets, that I show up to the race late, that I forget my tri suit and am naked at the starting line, that I get a flat on the bike, that I fall apart during the swim, that I am out of breath.... on and on.  Today I am exhausted both from a great weekend of hard workouts and from a horribly restless night of sleep because of the pressure I have put on myself for this upcoming season.  Please dear lord don't let me fall flat on my face that is all I ask for at this point and as long as I leave it all out there on the course let me be happy to participate in a sport that keeps me feeling alive and challenged!!!  Most of all I hope my son is proud of his mom and sees that he is the one that gives me strength to push on when I'm exhausted!

This weekend on my bike ride I pull up to a red light as a guy is fist pumping yelling " You go girl, you go girl, you go like I use to back in the day all the way to Taos, yeah, yeah!"  As I'm starting back up he is running next to me spilling beer.... yes that is the type of cheer squad you get when you bike certain parts of our town! :-)  Then I swear I'm hearing something and think it's the new wheel set that I'm not use to yet but I look back and see a guy right on my tire! I slow down and pull to the side and he says "Sorry but you were going at a nice clip and I was just hitching a ride" I don't look very amused because I am not very steady on my new bike yet and worry I'm about to cause both of us to wreck!  So he proceeds to ride next to me and chit chat and tries to fist bump me as I turn off the path on my own way.  Dude do you not see me white knuckling it and doing everything I can to maintain! ;-)  I felt super strong on my 7 mile run the next day with hills and feel like a total bad ass when I get home thinking these runs don't take it out of me anymore like they use to.... then I fall asleep trying to read during my sons nap!!!  Ha!!


Happy Training!

Shamrock Shuffle 10 miler

This Sunday was the Shamrock Shuffle in Rio Rancho.  This course is always a good course when you need a good hard challenge!  I was however pretty nervous for this one as I decided to switch from the 10k to the 10 miler at the last second!!  I had told my coach I wanted to do the 10k so she built it into my plan but then I saw 5 miles before the 10k and said I'll just do the 10 miler since misery loves company! :-)  My long hilly runs had been super slow and I was getting very discouraged I was running on average about 11:00 min miles.  So I thought if by some miracle I want to make it in time to run the Kids K with my son I'd have to 10 min/miles!!!  My husband said so that means I'm running the kids K with him?  Challenge ACCEPTED!!!  I finished it in 1:34 (9:26 min/mi) and was super happy with my finish time on this hilly course!!  99 OA out of about 200 and 11 in my AG not sure how many in that...

But apparently the second my son spotted me coming up the last half mile uphill to the finish he started bawling uncontrollably!  We don't know why.  So as I crossed the finish line I was handed a crying slobbering child....  We headed over to the start of the Kids K and was still crying.  I said we don't have to do it if he didn't want to.  But of course everyone around us probably thought he was crying because we were "forcing" him to do it, haa!  I walked the first few hundred feet carrying him and he saw someone in the distance with their dog walking up a steep sandy hill and said "I want to go there!!" I said if you finish this first I'll take you there.  So he started running.  Then half way through he walked again and I said if you go through that "rainbow" the finisher's shoot you get a shiny medal like moms so he ran it in to the finish.  We got our matching finishers medals and you better believe he didn't forget about that hill.  So sore hips and all I walked up that hill with him.  Of course we had to finish it all off with a play session at the park.  Don't forget the dog had to be walked later that afternoon too!  And my husband wanders why I'm always so tired! :-)  Hubs was a trooper going out there with our son to see me finish and suffer through the cry fest.

I had a great weekend and got to get myself and my son all decked out in my favorite color.  The day before the race I got to do a 26 mile bike ride and am getting use to my new bike.  I'm no longer in pain but it will still need a few more tweaks to get it just right. 

Happy Training!!! and Happy St. Patrick's Day!!

Mental Toughness and the 40% Rule

Mental toughness is a collection of attributes that allow a person to persevere through difficult circumstances (such as difficult training or difficult competitive situations in games) and emerge without losing confidence.

After many years of triathlon training including a few long course finishes I had always felt I had the mental toughness thing conquered.  But I'm finding out quickly that I don't!  I'm not sure I agree with the definition above because even if I endure something through mental toughness doesn't necessarily mean I didn't lose any confidence in the process.

I've always been able to endure the "pain" of many things such as training with various applications of mental toughness methods.  Like during a long run taking yourself out of your body, have you ever had that experience where it's like you're floating above your body looking down, like you know you're there going through the aches and pains of that long run but you've managed to take yourself outside of your body so that you aren't fully experiencing the pain?  Or if I am having extreme pain I focus on something else so narrowly that I don't allow myself time to experience the real pain,  like biting your arm to take your focus away from the excruciating knee pain that crept up out of nowhere (yes, I realize that is an extreme example).

So what changed?  Why do I all of a sudden feel like I need to go back and work on my mental toughness?  Well I changed my training plan completely.  And I became a mom.  I only have time to tackle one of those right now...

There are different types of mental toughness.  I was good at setting a main overarching goal and busting through that.  Like a weekend long run, go out and run 12 miles.  I knew how to do that, wear a hat that I kept pulled down low, never look up, concentrate on incessant forward motion, one foot in front of the other, mental block, karate chop any thoughts of pain, fatigue, boredom etc and just get it done!  

What I wasn't good at was having any kind of structure to my training.  Like go run 5 miles, warm up for 1, tempo run for 2, 1:00 min. sprints with 2:00 jog, etc.   Or swim  300 warm up, 8 x 75s free descending, 12 x 50 evens drill odds fast free, 200 easy etc.  I was better at, get in the pool and swim 1500 steady and nonstop.  So what did I do to fix this?  I got a coach!! (more on that later) and told her I need structure!  Well she gave me structure!! And what I have found is that now at the end of each workout not only am I physically fatigued but I am mentally fatigued!!  The mental fatigue is something I'm not use to and need to work on my mental toughness in that area to improve.  What I find myself doing on days that I'm exhausted in general and lacking motivation is falling back on old habits.  So if I have a 4 mile run planned for that day with lots of stuff to do during it but I just don't feel like it I say well I'll just go out and run the 4 miles and forget about the structure.  At least I'm getting it done right?  Well, what that's going to do to me is put me right back into my old ways of I'm just training to finish not training to improve!

What I find interesting is that there is a lot out there about mental toughness but not a differentiation on different types and why we may be good at some and not others.  Also there is a lot about mental toughness for business folks.  What the heck?!?!! I've never needed to practice mental toughness at work that made me laugh.  :-)  Maybe these folks should just go out and do a triathlon and work will seem like a piece of cake! ;-)  Just kidding!!!!  kind of...  At work I just have to fight procrastination so as long as I come in in the morning and get my most dreaded tasks out of the way immediately my day and week go much better.

There were also a lot of military articles on this for obvious reasons.  My favorite was finding out about the 40% Rule and this being the theory behind why so many marathoners while they usually hit a wall around mile 16 or 18 can still finish.  
“He would say that when your mind is telling you you’re done, you’re really only 40 percent done"  http://thehustle.co/40-percent-rule-navy-seal-secret-mental-toughness

So when you think you're done just remind yourself nope your body and mind can probably really handle about 60% more!!!! Happy Training!!!