The persuit of Exellence....

Had a very enlightening conversation the other day and realize just how much work there is ahead of me but as long as I'm continuously growing and learning that means I'm still thriving! :-)

A while back I had read a sports psychology book, I blogged about it even, and one of the things that really stuck out was that I need to work on resilience.  Well this was a few years ago and now I'm realizing I not only need to work on resilience in sports but in all aspects of my life.  I feel I need to be able to bounce back quicker not let something minor get me down or deter me for too long.  I announced this as if it were some great moment "I'm ready to work on my resilience!"  It wasn't met with the response I expected.  I thought ok I'll be given some mental exercises to get me through those moments and as long as I stick to it viola I'll be more resilience.  Instead I was asked, "Would people say that you are a perfectionist?"  I replied No I don't have patience for the details, if I had a project to work on I'd get the work done then call someone else in to make it look perfect or pretty.  I was then informed that's not the only form of perfectionism.  After a lot of back and forth I was told to consider that maybe I was a perfectionist and that is actually why I'm not as resilient as I'd like to be.  WHHHATTT???  Ok so what does that mean?  If I have really high expectations of myself therefore being a perfectionist I might tend to have "all or nothing" thinking.  So if I can't have it all I might as well give up therefore I'm not as resilient because I may think it's not worth the effort if I can't get it perfect.

For example, "I read all the time about these awesome mom's that just had a baby, work full time, have an amazing supportive partner, are back to competing at triathlons."  So obviously if I can't have it all like they do I must be doing something wrong.  If they still find time and energy for enough training to be competitive athletes why can't I do it at the age group level?  So I give up and sit out a whole season of triathlons.  I know everyones situation is different.  I know we all have our own battles to fight but I only tend to compare myself to an unattainable picture perfect ideal.

So what did I learn?  I need to strive for EXCELLENCE and resilience will follow.  I need to recognize when I'm thinking in terms of perfection and not excellence because no one is perfect and to strive for perfection will lead to failure and I will lose my resilience.  But if I strive for excellence I will realize that if there are failures that is ok because that's how we keep learning and striving for excellence.

I may have just babbled on way too long about something that only makes sense to me but  it helps me to write things down to process them.

On another note look at what my dog did to me by head butting my knee!  This picture was taken almost a week after she ran head first into me!  I was on the floor almost crying it hurt me so bad but I got up quickly and smiled because that was the first time I saw a worried look on my little boys' face and I didn't want to worry him.  But my dog was NOT fazed!  She just kept right on running as if she didn't even hit her head.

I signed up for the 10k!  It's just a few weeks away.  It's been so long since I've ran that distance I don't even know what my goal should be.  I think I'll go with hopefully finish in 1 hour.

And just in case you want a good laugh watching a cute kid dancing to some rap music:

Happy Training!

Cathartic

ca·thar·tic

kəˈTHärdik/

adjective

adjective: cathartic

1.

providing psychological relief through the open expression of strong emotions; causing catharsis.

That pretty much sums up this last weekend.  I had some good talks with some good friends and family and I started watching a movie Saturday night that was just one of those so depressing movies your life's woes pale in comparison and out of no where I just started crying and couldn't stop.   Needless to say I didn't finish watching the movie.  But all in all this weekend still ended up being good.  

Saturday I timed a Valentine's Day race with a good friend and my brother went with me so that he could help watch my little kiddo.  So he got to run around the soccer fields chasing hot air balloons while I got to see some amazing people finish a 5k.  "A" was nice and tired after all of this.  He also enjoyed chasing around all the heart shaped balloons.  I got a free pass to see the Disney Movie McFarland so I figured why not it is about running and my favorite artist did the main song to the sound track and it's free and hubs is willing to put the kiddo to sleep that night for me.

Tim was there as an honorary announcer and my son and him had a good laugh, a high five, and danced to the DJ's music.  If you've never heard the story about Tim and his restaurant it's very inspiring.  I've had a few chances to meet Tim and it's always a pleasure.  Once it was him talking at a conference and another time was when I was repelling during Over the Edge event to raise money for Special Olympics.  Here's a little video of him:

http://youtu.be/y6He0FWoFj0

Sunday I did my usual weekly prep of food most of the morning then we got to go to the park with the little man because it's been spring like here lately.  I was able to remind him that we wave hello instead of slapping kids to get their attention and I was comforted by the fact that another dad there said don't worry ours is still learning that too and she's older it's just a phase.  Then my dad invited me along to go for a bike ride with him and my brother and my hubs said "Go!" so I went on a day that I thought my workout had gotten away from me.  So I did 16 while chatting it up with the fam. and the three of us hadn't ridden together since we had done day of the tread at least 2 or so years ago.  The time before that we had ridden out to White Sands and couldn't keep up with my brother on his folding bike.  

Some major changes will be coming our way hopefully but it should all be good and mainly in attitude.  I know for sure this weekend made me thankful for what I do have and no matter how bad things can get I always will have people to lean on if I were to ever hit rock bottom.  My son also knows how to laugh at everything and make any room brighter I love him more than anything!

Oh yeah and Happy Valentine's Day!

Happy Training!!

One MOTHER of a week! oh and happy valentine's day!

Last week was rough it seemed like there was no end in sight!!!  It was all I could do to survive and I'm still not sure I did.  I keep trying to catch up on stuff at work and feel like I'm in a fog and possibly suffering a very minor version of ptsd.  This pretty much sums up how it went:

Last Sunday we were woken up at midnight by the sound of crying and once we realized it wasn't his normal night terror cry that he goes back down to sleep after it was too late, there was shrapnel everywhere!  Poor little guy was covered in puke that just kept on coming.  We had to give him a bath in the middle of the night to get it out of his hair.  4 hours later, 4 changes of sheets, 3 pj changes and he finally stopped puking.  We tried to get a few hours of sleep.  I was going to get ready to go to work when he puked again.  I stayed home with him.  Tuesday I went to work then came home at the end of the day to get it myself.  Wed. I tried to work and had to come straight home.  I slept a little while my dad tried to take care of the kiddo.  Then that afternoon he said he felt weird and seconds later went running to the bathroom for the most violent episode of puking I've ever heard.  Then hubs said he got some form of it on Thurs. night with fever but no vomiting.  So he stayed on the couch resting and I couldn't disinfects the whole house cause I had to take care of the kiddo.  The next day he was better and took off to go hunting, yes I'm vegetarian but that's a story for another day, and took my dad with him.  So the whole weekend my son and I still were feeling weird even though we were better and everything I did felt like it wasn't good enough for him.  He pitched fits for no reason, kept getting hurt like getting his head stuck in between the bars in the gate, and would barely eat.  I managed to clean the whole house with bleach Saturday night once I had put the little guy to sleep but I had to have all the windows open and yes that meant the heater ran a little extra, but I never clean with bleach and the whole house stank, apparently bleach is the only thing that kills the stomach bug.  My poor dog is allergic to everything so this was sending her into some sort of attack that sounded like she couldn't breathe so I had to put her outside until she got better.  My brother came over on Saturday after the cleaning spree and kept me company that evening and helped me so much not only by being the computer whiz that he is and reformatting our broken computer, but by just being there and letting me tell him how hard being a parent was.  But now he texted me and said he's come down with the stomach bug!!!!  So we still aren't safe!  Every time I heard my son make movement which was a lot this last weekend because he couldn't seem to settle into a good sleep for naps or at night, I went running to sit by the door and listen intently in case I had to bust in and save him, and of course this made my dog pace back and forth by my feet thinking something was wrong.  Of course he ended up being fine but since this is the first illness I've gone through with my kiddo I felt so helpless and sad.  There, done I think I said that all in one breath!!

So no I didn't get to work out and my nerves are an exposed sparking mess.  As I tried to explain this to my husband this morning not so eloquently and our voices raised and I held my son in my arms, my son just leaned in and gave me a very animated loud kiss that just made me laugh and take a breath and now I am thankful that we are recovered I can lick my wounds and get back to life, hopefully.  The end! :-)

Happy Training!!

And for a little bit of humor I found a few Valentine's Day Cards you might be able to use: