Conflict

Conflict.  Yes I said it conflict.  Doesn't it seem like every time you say that word it gets harsher? Conflict surrounds so many parts of our lives and we tend to view it as having a negative connotation.  But can it be positive and help us grow?  I am in the business of conflict or the resolution of it, yet I still don't understand where it comes from in most cases.  I have conflict in my personal life.  Kind of as a break away from my last post about perfectionism, I have daily battles with the conflict that arises from my perception of how things "should be" and how they really are.  But if I could just figure out how to PAUSE then conflict wouldn't be an issue.  During a work luncheon today the speaker proposed a very simplistic approach to conflict but it makes a lot of sense we just don't take the time to think about it.  I personally know most of my actions that I take due to a perceived conflict tend to be knee jerk reactions and if I would just pause for a minute my reaction may very well differ and potentially have more favorable results.  But his main point was conflict starts within us before we ever have that conversation with someone else.  We have our own "world" and our own perceptions therefore conflict starts with us before even adding someone else into the mix. 

He asked don't we all have that one thing that sets us off?  The one I volunteered is "the poor me syndrome" if anyone comes off as having that attitude as if everything is always happening TO them and nothing is ever their fault and woe is me life is so unfair it irks me.  But do I ever pause to think where they are coming from?  Of coure to avoid those knee jerk reactions we have to practice, practice, practice.  For me I have to really practice the pause.  Instead of hitting reply and angrily sending off an email 2 seconds after receiving it or instead of drastically changing my entire training plan because of one little hiccup if I would just pause I think my results would be much different. 

Conflict can arise from diversity and from change and those things can be very inspiring and energizing.  I'm an all or nothing kind of person and I'm an action item addict.  What can I do right now to make things happen?  But sometimes looking down the road a little bit further would be very helpful.  I accomplished only some of my goals this last training season and I often backed out of races because I knew I wasn't going to get my ideal training in.  But if I changed my world a little my results may make me happier.  Maybe I wouldn't have been able to finish as strong as I wanted but I would have been able to participate in more races and hang out with my friends that inspire me to do more and do better.  If I can't do that long bike ride out on the road then I guess I need to get on the trainer and make the best of it.  If I'm too tired to get that sprint training in on the track at night maybe a quick jog around the neighborhood instead wouldn't be the end of the world.

We both got new running shoes!

My new favorite hat, race swag.

This weekend I was able to go for a run, a bike ride, and even test out some new bikes.  I was able to have some quality family time and enjoy my weekend.  That's what sticks with me.  Not the fact that my son was a little sleep deprived on Sat. and was extra cranky with me most of the day.  Because that Sunday he was a ray of sunshine and made up for any of the headaches he gave me the day before.  This last week I really worked hard and got some quality work outs in even though I wasn't training for anything other than life.  Today I had to skip my lunch workout due to this meeting and I'm already thinking to myself there's no way I'm going to get out there on the track after 7pm on a full stomach and do those sprints, who am I kidding thinking I should look for a half marathon to train for.  But instead I'm going to say you know what I may or may not make it to the track, I may or may not find a half marathon to train for this fall.  But I'm going to pause and instead of all or nothing if I don't get out on the track I'm going to do some sort of run somehow.  Even if it's just a mile with the dog.  I'm going to breathe some fresh air and leave

Our post ride selfie he's always so happy to see me when I get home!

This kid loves chips and salsa just like his moma!

work behind and forget about the mess in the kitchen.

Happy Training!